This is the tiny drone camera Oaklandsocialist has access to.

There is a secret drone on the wall of Trump’s Oval office. It has a camera and recorder. Oaklandsocialist has access to it. Here’s what we picked up:

Trump was angry. Almost as angry as when Obama made fun of him at a White House press club banquet.

“I got that god damn guy out of the dog house. I got him playing in that stupid game… Nobody gives a shit about that game, by the way. It’s not a real American game. It’s only the goddam foreigners who like it, and they even call it “football”. What bullshit. We play football! But anyway, those foreigners like the game so I got him back into it after he got that communist card… What’s it called again? (Voice in the background – “red card”) Right, a communist card. Anybody who gets a communist card should be kicked out of the country. How do the communists get to claim red? We use that color. Why do the communists get to use our color? And in the end, the god damn guy can’t even score a goal, so why the hell did I even get him back into the game? What a loser!

“Anyway… what’s his name again? (voice in the background “Balogun”). Right, Baloney. I got Baloney back into the game. And it costed me a bunch, believe me. I had to offer that asshole Infancy a bunch of money.

“Do you know how much it costed me? Infancy said he might have to resign. So I had to tell him I’d make him CEO at my crypto company if he had to resign.

“Why should he have to resign? I mean, I organized an insurrection. Me and my family stole over a billion dollars. I had American citizens killed even. And what’s happened to me? Nothing! So why should anybody give a damn about Infancy letting that god damn immigrant play a stoopid game?

“And then you know what happens? That stupid Balony couldn’t even kick a stupid ball through a stupid goal! Hey, Markwayne, was that asshole even born in America? He sure doesn’t look like it.”

Mullin replies, “Well, technically, sir. But his parents are from Nigeria…”

Trump interjects: “Nigeria! One of those shithole countries! I knew it. Get him the hell out.”

Mullin: “Well, sir, he was born here… but only while his mother was visiting the US.”

Trump: “I knew it. He’s out of here. Get him the hell out today! He’s a loser.”

He then continues: “The whole goddam team sucks. The whole team is losers. Who wants to play soccer anyway? They don’t even make that much money. After everything I did for them, and I don’t even give a damn about soccer. Fact, I don’t really care about basketball… Give me a real sport, like MMA.

“While I’m at it, what was the name of that ref who let Belgium win?”

A voice from off camera, “Adham Makhadmeh. He’s from Jordan, sir.”

Trump: “Jordan! A goddam ref from another one of those shit hole countries. I want him out of here too. Out! Get him out!

“Matter of fact, I saw that whole Belgium team making fun of me, doing my dance in their lockeer room. I want those foreigners out of my country too.”

He turns to Steve Miller, who is also in the room. “What do you thnk Steve?”

Steve Miller, “Whatever you say, sir, but they’re mostly white you know.”

Trump: “I don’t give a shit. They can’t come into my country and make fun of me. They’re out of here.

“And call up Infancy. Tell him I want a new ref. I want Bongino. He’d be a great ref. That’s who I want, and Infancy damn well better do it and fast.” 
Note that this is filed under our “Fiction more real than fact” file.

This is the tiny drone camera Oaklandsocialist has access to.